The murder of Radhika Tanwar, a student of Ram Lal Anand College, by her stalker in broad daylight in the national capital on 8 March, 2011 once again brought the topic of the safety of girls in the city to the forefront. This was then discussed and written about by the media and people in general over the next few days. And with the arrest of the suspected killer, all this came to an end.
But, this post is not about the safety of girls or about the subject of 'Stalking'. This post is about one topic, which came to my mind after reading her father's statement in a national newspaper. It is one topic, which is right in front of our eyes, but we tend to see through it regarding it as a frivolous one. The topic is 'Generation Gap', and the question that is needed to be answered is 'Are we bridging the gap?'
"She never complained of any harassment to us. Do you think that if she had, we would have allowed her to attend college alone?" This was her Radhika's father's statement to the officials, whereas her friends told the same officials that Radhika was being harassed. After reading this the first question that crossed my mind was that why is it so? I mean that if a child is facing some problems, it is his friends who know about it, and not his parents. There is a big communication gap present these days between parents and their children. Children, today, tend to share their problems with their friends, and not with their parents. Why is it so? And, who is to blame for this generation gap?
The answer to the second question is both - children and their parents. Many parents, these days, are more busy in earning money and indulging in material comforts rather than giving time to their family and children. This leads to having a negative effect on the children as they felt left out. Parents send their children to tuitions, get them what they want, and think that they have done their duty. They don't sit down with them to share and discuss their problems, and when something happens like in Radhika's case, parents are unaware of any such thing and go on to say that their child was not at all facing any problem.
The children are also to blame. When anything is bothering them they don't go to their parents fearing their outburst. Instead, they go to their friends and tell them about the problem. Friends, to them, become an advisor and a cousellor, when in fact, it should be the parents in the place of those friends. But, it is not so. The ever increasing pressure from parents can be another reason for this ever increasing generation gap. I have seen many parents telling their children to outperform others in academics and sports, otherwise are threatened with harsh consequences like getting beaten up, isolated from the outside world, and getting locked up in a room to only study. This shouldn't be so. They become critical of every act of ours. Whatever we do fails to please them. They forget one thing - those who criticise our generation tend to forget who raised it.
I don't know what more shall I say. It's up to the children and their parents to answer these questions. We talk a lot about it, but shy away when it comes to find a solution for it. This shouldn't be the case.
PS: This post and my observations in it has been written after what I have seen around me. This is not directed to all parents and children, who may not like what I have written.
The answer to the second question is both - children and their parents. Many parents, these days, are more busy in earning money and indulging in material comforts rather than giving time to their family and children. This leads to having a negative effect on the children as they felt left out. Parents send their children to tuitions, get them what they want, and think that they have done their duty. They don't sit down with them to share and discuss their problems, and when something happens like in Radhika's case, parents are unaware of any such thing and go on to say that their child was not at all facing any problem.
The children are also to blame. When anything is bothering them they don't go to their parents fearing their outburst. Instead, they go to their friends and tell them about the problem. Friends, to them, become an advisor and a cousellor, when in fact, it should be the parents in the place of those friends. But, it is not so. The ever increasing pressure from parents can be another reason for this ever increasing generation gap. I have seen many parents telling their children to outperform others in academics and sports, otherwise are threatened with harsh consequences like getting beaten up, isolated from the outside world, and getting locked up in a room to only study. This shouldn't be so. They become critical of every act of ours. Whatever we do fails to please them. They forget one thing - those who criticise our generation tend to forget who raised it.
I don't know what more shall I say. It's up to the children and their parents to answer these questions. We talk a lot about it, but shy away when it comes to find a solution for it. This shouldn't be the case.
PS: This post and my observations in it has been written after what I have seen around me. This is not directed to all parents and children, who may not like what I have written.
Because friends are not the one to blame the "girl" but would be sympathetic and empathetic whereas look at parents comment" we would not have allowed her to attend the college alone" Now the girl knew what was coming on her way if she tells the same to her parents. Unfortunately generally girls dont say such things to their parents. We are no at all bridging the gap. All we do is teach some moral values to the girls and allow the morons to roam freely.